A Love Letter from my Soul- Part II

Then something interesting happened. Life started happening for you…..  I mean you felt as if it was happening to you.  But I was happy that as much as you were hurting and going through things I began to see you awakening from the slumber you drastically fell into. 

It started with an accident… Boy did that jolt you like an electrical current.  You began questioning: "are you living the best life you could?"  You wondered, if you were to die would God be happy that you fulfilled your purpose.  NO!!!! That was the answer.  You had yet to live! You were living a life of fear, and you called yourself a Believer in a higher power….  that God was always by your side and that the universe and life conspire for you not against you. BLAH BLAH… You couldn’t even have the courage to believe in us!!! You were afraid to take leaps of faith. Why??? But life has a funny way of working in our favor.

You began to feel ill.  I mean really ill.  At first you did what you always do.  Act as though you are invincible because being vulnerable is looked upon as a weakness. You thought that your constant fatigue, aches and pain were due to your overzealous daily routines.  You became afraid because you had no idea what was going on. You stayed silent about the way you felt for some time because you didn’t want to admit something could be wrong. You asked God "why YOU?" as though you were above being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that you would have to live with for the rest of your life.  But it made you see for the first time in a long time that life is truly very short as long as it may seem.  Your season could come to an end. And again the question is proposed,  are you living your life’s purpose? And the answer again was NO!!!

For a long time you stayed in a very dormant state.  You were hitting what I felt was the pause button.  Not on your daily activities that people notice, but on the part of us that was once connected.  Crystal you forgot about the core of who you truly were.  And who you are to become. 

I don’t even think you saw it coming…. You hit a brick wall. All your patience, your tenacity, your strength, resilience, your power all collapsed!! You lost it.  But it is funny, I knew you lost it.  You were losing it for sometime piece by piece like crumbs falling off of a piece of bread.  At the beginning it wasn’t noticeable but it began to show it’s face.  You were not YOU!!! That light you once had was so dim that I had difficulty finding you.

But, as life happened for us, in your darkest of moments you realized that you needed to go back to your core.  You saw the importance of who you were and you began to fight back.  Suddenly, the calls began. At first sparingly, but I answered.  The more we spoke the better reacquainted we became.  It was as though we really never skipped a beat.  Slowly but surely we began our morning routines, we prayed a little then started meditation challenges.  I was so happy to have my friend back.  I truly missed our relationship.  The closer we became we changed for the better.  We saw things from such a different perspective.  ONE OF SELF.   We looked inward and not outward for validation.  This was very scary because those around us didn’t quite understand.  We were called selfish, unrealistic, and at times down right crazy.  There were moments I watched you try to pull back but you kept fighting through.  You kept our communication, you did not waiver too far.  For the first time in your life you began to hold your ground for your self.

SUDDENLY, I saw you coming into your own.  You felt confident enough to ask the question again.  Am I living my life’s purpose?  And this time the answer came back- YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY.

You were so happy that the first person you told was me.  Your best friend, your authentic self, your soulmate. I am proud of you! The woman you are becoming, the road you chose to travel is a difficult one but you have truly risen to the occasion.

Love you Always,

Your Soul