Believing in LOVE
"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”
-Anaïs Nin
For many of us Valentine's Day is a day that we celebrate time with that special someone. We use this day to shower them with all the love we can and prove that they are appreciated and valued. But what makes this day different from any other day? Women are programmed from our younger days. As little girls we find ourselves looking for the validation of love from some little boy. Whether it was a poem, love letter or those terrible tasting candy hearts. As we got older we looked forward to chocolate in every assortment, huge I love you pillows and a teddy bear too. As women flowers, extravagant pieces of diamond jewelry, trips, dinners and of course the...wait for it...PROPOSAL.
What if Valentine's day never existed? HMMM... How would we view the act of LOVE?
I love the quote above by Anaïs Nin. It speaks volumes about what happens to love. We all begin every relationship wanting it to work. I believe most of us go in with the intention of loving the other person and doing right by each other. But, the reality is for most of us the relationship will come to a bitter end. Why does this happen? Somewhere along the way we get lost. We forget what "love" really means.
Love is about giving of yourself without losing yourself.
Love is a selfless act.
It is not one sided.
It is the source of all relationships.
For many, love becomes very superficial. People view romance that is made perceptible via television or social media for face value. Yes romance can help in cultivating and enhancing love, but that's not what it's all about. Wining and dining does not symbolize love in any way, shape, or form. Women become blinded by the initial courting of a relationship. "Girl, you should see the car he picked me up in”, or “the restaurant was five stars.” Better yet, “He took me on a trip for the weekend on a whim.” When the excitement lessens or your partner is no longer able to do the things that were perfect at the beginning, the relationship falls flat. Many begin to feel jiped out or worse, MISLEAD.
When I met my special man in my life, I explained to him that "it's the little things that matter to me". At first he laughed and thought I was taking him for a ride. However, he soon realized what I meant. I expressed, for me, love is a consistent act. It is something that one shows on any given day. Let me know that you are listening to me with both ears. For example, if I say I'm working late or very tired coming home from work a small act may be as simple as making dinner or even ordering out. You may think to have a warm bath ran by the time I walk through the door. Is this courting? It can be if you choose to only do on Valentine’s Day, but if done on a Monday because you love your partner enough to listen to her needs and wants, it is an act of love. I must say, he does an excellent job! (I will not list all the ways he shows his love , although I gave you a couple hints LOL.)
Love is tough because it takes a lot of work, It takes being consistent even on our off days.
Is Valentine's Day a necessity? Personally, I don't think so. But, I know many of you will disagree. I believe in a everyday Valentine's Day. I want to present and express love everyday by doing. I do not need one day to remind me how to appreciate and value the very person I say "I love you " to daily. As French novelist Marcel Proust once said, "it's our imagination that is responsible for love." We can create either a wonderful reality for one another or create an experience that tarnishes ones heart.
Let us all work on love not dying an excruciating death. Love is not some romantic arrangement or emotional security. It is a a beautiful waltz that two people are willing to practice daily where it seems as though you are moving gracefully in unison.
