The Power in Independence
It was just week ago I found myself dropping my oldest son off at college. After a great couple hours setting up, he turned to me and said, “Mom, I'm on my own now; I am an independent young man. You don't need to worry about me anymore." I looked at him and explained, “I am your mother, I will always worry and you can count on me to be here when you need me.”
I wondered to myself, Are we truly celebrating independence in a positive light? Let's think about this for a moment. When someone says they are independent, you hear things such as: “I don't need anyone for anything.” “I don't need a man to take care of me.” “I don't need anyone's help.” Hmmmmm..... I don't know about you, but those words come across quite negative in my eyes. I understand for a woman society forces us to believe that being independent means we conquered a great obstacle of some sort; that we are above others, as if we are part of this higher society of womanhood. I wildly pondered these many thoughts in my head.
Looking at my son it took me back to when he was just a baby. He needed me for everything. He couldn't feed himself, walk, or talk; I had to teach him how to do all of that. Eventually, those things became something of the past. I no longer had to worry about helping him in those areas in life because he learned and grew to be able to do those things himself. However, it was in those times that my son and I connected. He quickly understood that not only was I his mother but he trusted me, because when he fell I was there to catch him and when he needed a helping hand he knew where to reach. I no longer need to feed him or help him to walk but this journey in life is a long one with many difficulties. No one can do it alone. So when he says he's independent, does that mean his connection to me just ends? Not at all, he will need me in some form or capacity and vice versa.
When I think of women, I believe that independence is a privilege. It's one that inspires us to embody a great sense of power; the power to understand that as we learn and grow from young girls who once needed support from those in our corner we became adults. Yes we learn how to cook, keep a household, and do laundry, still hold down a job and be what society proclaims as “superwoman”, but in it all we never get anywhere alone. To earn our independence we all have had to be vulnerable enough to accept help and seek guidance in various areas of our lives. Some of us had a teacher/professor in school who pushed us to attain our greatest potential. There is that friend who knows us better than ourselves, one who has the ability to talk us off the bridge when we just can't seem to think straight. How about a sister who picks up the phone to make you laugh when you can’t seem to find the joy in life? Or even a significant other whose support and protection reassures you that when you walk the tightrope of life he is there in case you fall?
I am not here to say that independence and being on our own is not a wonderful thing. We all aspire to be able to see ourselves moving and progressing through this life’s journey. No, I am not saying not to grow into beautiful beings who can walk through life on our own two feet. It’s about remembering that in that walk, as independent as we become, in the same instance we have to be vulnerable in order to continue growing. Once you have accomplished something new be sure to turn around and help another who may not have gotten to that place in life.
Let’s look at independence for its true purpose and power. To allow ourselves to not only empower ourselves but to in turn empower and and promote others as well in their own independence.
