Finally saying goodbye to 2017
I know a month has passed and 2018 is underway. But I have yet to fully let go of all things last year. I know once the ball drop we tend to believe this notion that we will awaken on January 1st and all has miraculously changed. Well let me tell you, as much as I prepare and think of resolutions, goals, and life changes January is a month of pure focus and pursuit to the common good of a year to come. I mean can I be frank ? It's a trying time. You reflect on where you are and the hope of where you want to be this time next year. It's a roller coaster of emotions.
I don't know about you guys but Social media can feel like the devil!
Is it me or is everyone's media of choice a collection of perfect pictures coupled with the best captions and quotes of what seems like they just all have their "shit together!" (oops pardon my French.) If I used others to measure my future success I would go stir crazy. I have to be honest with myself, so I decided to bid a true farewell to 2017 once and for all. Finally Just letting go. Have you ever just found yourself holding on to the things that just don't serve you anymore? I know I have, and it's time to drop it all and walkthrough the door of 2018.
As I took time to take a closer look at what 2017 had to offer. I have come to realize I am in a better place than i was 12 months ago. As Maya Angelou said " When you know better you do better. " I know looking back at the year I had and should be quite proud of myself. I learned a lot about myself.
I decided to not create resolutions but life changes and goals. I wanted to revamp the CrystaL I once was and allow myself to become the woman I knew I would become. Am I perfect? Far from it !
And That's OK
The Element of Challenging the Status Quo
I went through a divorce that was a difficult transition and a terribly big hit to myself, family and especially my children. I am now classified under the the Oh you're "divorced" category. My own self esteem needed to be rejuvenated after the presumptions of failure. As if because my relationship or marriage didn't work it meant I was less than.
My reputation of being a good mother was certainly at stake. How dare I think of myself and not my children? I worked on their feelings and emotions. Nurturing them to a place of being able to trust and value love and family even though it may become messy. Teaching them that generational curses has to end with me.
The Element of Letting Go
I watched my son graduate from high school. Letting go of the fact that he will no longer be under my roof. He is the first of my children to leave the nest. Cried tears of joy because I have seen the growth in him. Knowing that I was a part of raising an exceptional young man even with my own shortcomings as a parent.
The Element of Vulnerability
I finally stepped out of my comfort zone and created Elements of a Woman. The blog created a platform that allowed me to go deep and began the journey of self exploration and vulnerability. Will everyone love it ? Will I be received in a way that's relatable to other women? The constant pressure and questioning of my worth is now put out for everyone to bear witness and criticize.
The Element of Courage
I found courage in displaying my personal love life. The same relationship that's been tested and judged from its very inception.
Proud and full of joy is what I feel right now. 2017 was a year of transformation. It taught me many lessons. I actually grew as a person. I recognize that I couldn't continue feeding past disappointments. I have done that for years and far too long. It's not fair to my future self. How can I move towards my destiny if I continually looked back in the rear view. Most people glance but I constantly stared and became distracted.
2018 is here!!! And a new vision is brewing. I am more clear on what's important. My greatest lesson learned; It's ok to every now and then visit the past , reflect to gain insight but just don't pack your bags and live there.
